(Lead Counsel: Katie)
It’s the season finale, motherfuckers! Let’s see what ridiculousness is in store for the end of season one. We pan into the Unisex, where Georgia and Elaine are grooming Ally’s hair, looking for the apparent green hairs she’s worried about. (Z: Wait, what? Is that a thing?) Bobby walks in to find Ally, because he needs an outside assist on his new case: two men want to switch hearts, because one has a congenital defect and the other wants to save his friend. Georgia and Elaine drool over Bobby, but the fawning is cut short when Cage does a gymnastics-level dismount out of a stall. Quirky! (Z: Seriously, what can he possibly be doing in there? How does he get that much leverage or momentum or whatever? David E. Kelly, I want you to draw me a diagram)
Post-credits, Ally explains the heart case to The Gang. The problem is that the hospital is refusing to do the switch, so they have to argue in front of a judge for a court order. Richard picks up his paycheck real quick by introducing the episode’s B-case: Cage’s second cousin is charged with misdemeanor battery, because he assaults happy people. They try to discuss how they’re up against Renee again, but Ally interrupts to yell about her green hair. I know this is definitely how I act in meetings. (Z: Yes, but then your boss doesn’t sniff your hair in meetings, which is how Richard reacts to Ally’s weird outburst) Continue reading “S1E23: Premature Clip Shows”
(Lead Counsel: Zeke)
Today’s ep begins with Ally and John Cage going to prison to meet a client. They’ve been brought on board by another attorney, who is representing an elderly inmate who tried to escape a month before the end of his eighteen-year sentence. Extra time is being added to his sentence as punishment for the escape attempt. The outside attorney says he wanted Cage & Fish so that Cage can do “whatever it is you guys do that makes juries disregard the law.” So…bad writing?
Meanwhile, Richard, Elaine and Georgia discuss the week’s other case: a woman who was left at the altar and wants to sue her ex-fiance for causing her emotional distress. This is, as I’ve said before, almost certainly not a thing. Richard tells Georgia to meet with the woman and take the case if she’s ugly. Why? Duty to mitigate: a hottie could find a new man easily, but an uggo will be in trouble. For the record, duty to mitigate is a real thing: it means that if somebody does you wrong, but you don’t do anything to mitigate the harm that results, your damages will be reduced when you sue them. The trouble is that it only applies in things like contract disputes, not tort claims like this one, so Richard is spouting complete nonsense as usual. (K: Usually I can follow Richard’s blather with your help, but they have this one so twisted that I’m at a loss.) Anyway, Georgia is (rightly) skeptical and then VONDA starts singing the credits. Continue reading “S1E22: Geriatric Crime!”
(Lead Counsel: Katie)
Ally and Cage are in the Unisex, where he’s teaching her his self-confidence techniques so that they’re ready to defend Renee in court. They run into Georgia on their way out, and she drops a pregnancy test. (Z: Subtle!) Ally looks freaked out.
Post-credits, Renee meets up with Ally and Cage in Ally’s office, and doesn’t seem happy with their strategies to defend her. Apparently she’s facing possible jail time if she gets convicted, so the stakes are high. Ally slips out to ask Elaine (not a typo) about how Georgia’s pregnancy test went. Georgia approaches, much less irritated than I would be, and tells them she hasn’t taken it yet. (Z: But first, Elaine says “Ally wants me in the loop to snoop the scoop.”) Continue reading “Sex is Bad, mmkay?”
(Lead Counsel: Zeke)
Ally and Georgia are in a conference room, wondering why a man would ever pretend to be gay. There’s been no context for what on earth they are talking about, so the feeling of confusion and disorientation is a good appetizer for what’s coming later in the episode. Billy barges in to tell them that they all need to get up and go to a crime scene that in some way involves an existing client. Turns out somebody turned up dead, and they need to go do lawyer things. Ally doesn’t want to, because she’s not comfortable with dead people or murders (K: even though she hugged Stephanie after she was murdered earlier this season). She tries to get Georgia to go in her place, which just means that all three of them go. The client, Marie Hanson, is a middle aged woman in a nice big house, and her husband has developed a terminal case of hatchet-in-chest-itis. The scene is swarming with police, but Mrs. Hanson is still there, so Billy tells her not to say anything to anybody. Good advice, Billy! Ally, meanwhile, freaks out and faints. If I were Billy, I think I would have just left her at the office. Credits!
After an interminable establishing shot of the Boston skyline, we get a brief scene of Cage mistaking Elaine for Ally in The Unisex before a meeting with the whole firm about the case. Cage thinks that this case is too big and complex for their small firm (K: especially since it’s their very first homicide, and apparently legal specializations mean nothing), so they should bring in another firm to help try it. Richard and Billy disagree; Richard wants the credit and the publicity, while Billy wants to prove that he’s a big boy now and can try a high-profile murder case all by himself. Then they go to court for a preliminary hearing, in which mature, competent Billy seems to think that he’s going to get this woman out on bail when she’s been charged with first degree murder. He does not. (K: Billy, when have “no criminal record” and “strong community ties” ever been legit counters for murder?) Continue reading “S1E20: Soft-Core Law & Crossover Episodes”