S2E7: Another IMDB Line for Rob Schneider

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Previously: Judge Raisin was a thing (his actual name is Happy Boyle, which I’ll be using in this recap for reasons that will soon become apparent), Stefan got flushed then slammed and was in a coma, Nelle asked Cage out, Ling saw naked Whipper. Phew.

Richard is in a stall in the Unisex when Cage climbs over the stall door to talk to him. He inquires about Richard’s love triangle, but quickly interrupts to say that he’s nervous about kissing Nelle, and he wants instructions like Ling gave Richard. Richard stands up, and guides him through the motions of the head tilt and keeping the lips soft, and his hands are way too close to both their faces for where they are right now. We see that Nelle and Elaine are eavesdropping over by the sinks, and they make their presence known, embarrassing all involved parties. Continue reading “S2E7: Another IMDB Line for Rob Schneider”

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S2E6: FOX Turned into a Hardcore Sex Channel So Gradually, I Didn’t Even Notice

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Okay gang, we got the new script, and the frog is front and center again this week.

No previouslies, as we dive right into Cage telling a woman they can’t win her case. Ally agrees, assuring her that “making love is wonderful” (*shudder*), but apparently this client is a nun so that’s a no-go. She’s suing the church because she was fired after breaking this vow of celibacy. Cage tells her the case would be a total “Hail Mary”, and at least has the decency to excuse his terrible pun. Ally and Cage rehash a bit in the Unisex, where she rants that they seem to be a magnet for strange cases about sex. What did I say about pointing out your weaknesses without changing them, show? During Ally’s tirade, Cage has left but Nelle has entered, and makes fun of her coworker’s flailing. I don’t care, Nelle is sane and adorable. Ally says she’s late for court and literally skips out.

Renee and Ally are doing a walk and talk outside the courthouse, when a man calls Renee’s name. She seems stunned to see this guy, Matt, who she introduces to Ally as an old friend. Matt’s at court for a copyright issue at his company and heads off. When Ally requests details, Renee reveals that Matt is “her Billy”, and Ally asks why she’s never heard of him before. “I don’t do that,” says Renee. Damn, for a best friend she’s ice cold. Continue reading “S2E6: FOX Turned into a Hardcore Sex Channel So Gradually, I Didn’t Even Notice”

S2E5: Ritterless

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Guys, did we want to up the CGI budget for the realistic frog this ep? …guys?

Previously: Cage fell down the stairs in front of Nelle, Ally and George flirted, Stefan the frog was a thing (told you), George was dating Elaine and had a wiggle walk, Ally roundhoused a child lawyer, Ally liked George… what even is going to happen in this episode?!

The first thing that happens is that on her walk to work, Ally comes across a woman sitting on the curb, crying. She asks if the woman is okay, earning a rude “what does it look like?” type answer. Ally is rude back (apparently you shouldn’t cry in public if you don’t want to be comforted), and the woman informs her that she was just diagnosed with “acute courtesy disorder”, which makes her rude. When she calls Ally a bitch for good measure, Ally stalks off, but the crying woman (we’ll discover her name is Hannah, and I’m just going to start that here so I’m not typing “Acute Coutesy Disorder Woman” every five words) follows her and chucks her purse at our protagonist. Ally is pissed now, and roundhouse kicks Hannah into a magazine rack. At this point a cop intervenes, and takes us into the credits. Continue reading “S2E5: Ritterless”

S2E4: Upskirt Shots Fired

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And if you look to your left, you’ll see scandaaaallll!

Previously: Renee said the dudes at the courthouse love Ally’s short skirts, Ling was vicious but went out with Richard, Nelle asked out Cage.

Ally is dancing in her apartment like nobody’s watching (“Superfreak” in the background), but soon enough Renee walks in and spoils the illusion. She turns off the song but Ally keeps dancing, so I guess the music really is always in her head. Ally says she’s practicing for a party they’re having, because dancing at the bar is more about composure and doesn’t count. She needs to practice dancing like she’s the only one in the room (as I said), causing Renee to ask how that’s any different than usual. Touche.

At C&F, Ally is inviting everyone at work to the party when she bumps into– and spills coffee on– John Ritter, who is apparently her 9:00 appointment. The show has been way better about names this season: we find out immediately that his name is George, and he has a wrongful termination case. He was referred to the firm by Elaine, who incidentally is also the one who convinced him to sue. He leaves to clean up, and Ally has a coffeegasm a la last season while she stares after him with lust. Continue reading “S2E4: Upskirt Shots Fired”