S2E11: Oh Boy, Sleep! That’s Where I’m a Wife!

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Thankfully, this week’s CGI is supposed to look surreal.

Previously: Butters was around and Ally was besotted, Nelle and Cage dated (KILL THIS PLOTLINE PLEASE?), Cage had weird habits, Butters left and Ally got neurotic about it

Ally is quiet for once as she sleeps peacefully with a new inflatable man, but she’s woken by the phone ringing. Someone on the other end asks about “Bria Tolson”, and she says she’ll be right there. Renee is up too, and Ally tells her that her former teacher is in the hospital. Renee asks if she can borrow the inflatable guy while Ally’s gone, and they banter about spinster survival tools.

Ally arrives at the hospital and greets Bria, and I think 12 seconds in is the shortest we’ve ever had to wait for a new character name. Bria thanks her for coming and mentions how beautiful she is, then introduces her to the priest (Robert) near her bed, who’s the one who actually made the call. We find out Bria was Ally’s high school teacher, and she asks what happened to “that sweetheart of yours”. Unlike the rest of us, she’s sorry to hear that Ally is no longer with Billy, and tells Robert that they once smelled each others’ butts, per the pilot. Ally turns Whimsy Red (Pantone Color of the Year 1999).

Bria says she needs to rest and falls asleep, giving Robert the chance to pull Ally aside and tell her the doctors don’t give Bria much time. Bria has started sleep-talking about “Henry” bringing her flowers, and Ally tunes in to the situation. She tells Robert that Bria used to have a dream about someone named Henry Lane, and they were in love. He only existed in her dreams, and she would cry when she woke up. Oh man, the romantic insanity is going to be off the charts this ep. Bria wakes up and tells Ally not to let “them” keep her alive, and to promise to let her go when it’s time. (They don’t say it until later, but she has ALS– the fact that her illness is incurable will become relevant.) Continue reading “S2E11: Oh Boy, Sleep! That’s Where I’m a Wife!”

S2E10: My Horn Can Pierce the Law!

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Hello? Yes this is Lawyer.

Previously: Cage and Nelle had a weird thing going, Renee ran into Matt, Ally had whimsy moments, Renee went out with Matt, Nelle kissed Cage.

VONDA sings us into this season’s Christmas episode with Silver Bells over the snowy landscape of Boston. Nelle stops by Cage’s office in a little black dress, since she’s going to a client’s Christmas party, to let him know she’ll finish her project tomorrow. But Cage feels the heart drums, so he follows her out. She’s in the main office area looking at paperwork, under the mistletoe, and he tries to sneak up on her (to VONDA singing a jazzy version of Silent Night), pretending to do other things when she looks over at him. She finally turns around and asks what he’s doing, and figures out he wanted to kiss her. Why did he need to be sneaky about it though? Whatever the deal is, they’re interrupted by Richard, who has an update about the firm party. Then he is interrupted by Billy, who informs everyone that Sheldon Maxwell just got fired. There’s reference to this guy being a big trader, and Richard calls everyone in to work on ANOTHER wrongful termination case.

Post-credits, Ally storms into the office, as she’s supposed to be at Renee’s party right now. Elaine catches her up: Sheldon is C&F’s biggest client, so much so that his business supported the very opening of the firm. Ally trips on her way into the conference room, where Sheldon is seated with everyone, and when things resume, we get the rest of the details. Sheldon is a bit cagey in telling his attorneys that his employer thinks he’s lost his mind, since two days ago he saw a unicorn in his office. Ally is struck by this admission, and he adds that the problem is that he told people about the sighting, as well as the fact that he saw one last year at his house. Richard asks if anyone is up on unicorn law, and Billy volunteers, pulling Ally in as well. There’s a bit where Billy asks about precedent with a kid who thought he was Pinocchio, who turns out to be Cage, and as far as I can tell it’s only in there to remind us that Cage is quirky. Continue reading “S2E10: My Horn Can Pierce the Law!”

S2E9: Deja Vu

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Only one of these women is actually injured. Guess which one.

Previously: Tracy made Ally get a theme song, Cage liked Nelle but was awkward, Elaine slut-shamed Ally, who has dumped and been dumped many times, Ally picked “Tell Him” as her theme song, Tracy had hope for Ally. (Tracy won’t be in this ep, in case you had your hopes up.)

“Tell Him” plays and Ally tries to dance around to it in her living room, but it keeps fizzling out. Maybe she should just play the song for real instead of in her head? Frustrated, she flings a pillow and hits the entering Renee. Renee asks what’s wrong, and Ally yells that it’s a Thanksgiving ritual. She’s giving thanks for having a full life, somebody to love, getting to be a lawyer, dating terrible men, not having anyone to tickle her back, and knowing Christmas comes next. Obviously all this is said in a tone that implies that she doesn’t really have anything, which is bullshit, so I’m with Renee when she just stares at her.

The credits transport us over to C&F, where Richard is chasing Ling around his office as she throws off his attempted terms of endearment. She’s bringing another lawsuit that he doesn’t believe in, something about sexual harassment, and she refuses to settle. Cut to the Unisex, where Ally, Billy and Georgia all yell at Richard about taking this case. Ally says ridiculous cases are supposed to go to Georgia, and Billy says they have to draw the line somewhere. Ling enters and overhears Billy suggesting that Richard is doing this for leverage to sleep with her. Richard is quick to reassure her that it’s actually because she’s a cash cow for the firm. Ally knows more about the case than we do, and tells Ling that it’s crazy to sue a man because you think he’s having sexual thoughts, without proof of anything. Ling says she thought that she and Ally were friends and Ally laughs in response, so Ling leaves to seek comfort with Nelle. Continue reading “S2E9: Deja Vu”

S2E8: Martyrs and Mud-Slinging

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Previously: Ling was around, generally, and started a lot of law suits, Elaine had a bunch of different inventions, Ally dumped Fitzy.

Short pre-credits scene this ep: Elaine and Ally appear to be messing around with the remote flusher when they and Georgia get bad vibes all of a sudden. Creepy music plays and Ling steps out of the elevator. As soon as she’s out of earshot, the ladies all go, “She’s baaaackk”, but she was definitely in the last episode so, um, good one?

Now let’s get to some actual development: Richard enters Nelle’s office, just as Ling is telling her that she’s overwrought. She’s the one being taken to court this time, as a Million Moms type group is trying to shut down her mud-wrestling club, on the basis of a nuisance complaint. Don’t worry, you didn’t miss anything, Richard didn’t know she owned a mud-wrestling club either. Ling pouts, asking why everyone is out to get her.

At a staff meeting a bit later, Richard lays out the case for everyone: the group, Mothers Opposed to Pornographic Entertainment, thinks the club destroys the nature of their community. Ally gets shitty about the “tramps” that work at a place like that, and yet Richard decides to put her on the case, along with Georgia and Nelle. He’s assuming that MOPE will use the “degradation of women cliche”, so he figures the female lawyers will have better luck. Oh, plus he hasn’t been able to sleep with Ling yet, so anything he can do to help his case. Nelle says the judge will want a hearing, so someone should check out the club, but when she volunteers Billy for this task, Georgia objects vehemently. Nelle tries to point out that these kind of places are for married men, but in the end they decide that Richard and Cage will be their spies. Continue reading “S2E8: Martyrs and Mud-Slinging”