S2E15: I Can’t Even

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“Well dang, Jim, those ARE some natural-looking eyebrows! The things you can do with computers these days!”

Previously: nothing but loud screeching inside my brain.

Ugh, fine: Ally liked dating Butters, Billy was jealous and said he still loved Ally, Ally loved both dudes, apparently all that gross kissing was real.

Ally walks down the rainy Boston sidewalks at night, and I guess it’s the same night we ended on last time, because she gets home and argues with Renee about what she’s done. Renee thinks it’s fine since it was only a kiss, but Ally disagrees. For her, a kiss is the biggest betrayal, because while sex is primal and includes a “raging penis”, in this case they didn’t take their clothes off, and it was probably because there’s more intimacy in just kissing. We get faded-tone flashbacks to the sloppy makeouts, and the doorbell rings.

Butters is at the door, glaring. He says he sat at the restaurant for over an hour, and Ally stutters about how she wasn’t feeling well. She tells him there’s a reason she wasted one of his few nights off, but Renee interrupts to blather about how women are beyond reason, and hey, Ally’s ploy must have worked because it got him here. She sends him into the other room and tells Ally not to update Butters on all the kissing. Ally says he knows her history with Billy anyway, and Renee ups the ante on that objectionable point with the claim that every relationship begins with dishonesty, since it sets the stage for marriage. They’re interrupted by Billy suddenly standing in the foyer, appearing like something out of a horror movie, and Renee leads him into a lie that they’re planning Ally’s birthday party. Billy glares at Ally and says “Surprise.” What does he have to be pissed about? Continue reading “S2E15: I Can’t Even”

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S2E14: Nooooooooo It Burns

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Get out of here, you little shit-stirrer.

Previously: Ling didn’t want to have sex with Richard, everyone found out that Ling is a lawyer, Billy missed Ally’s whimsy, Cage and Nelle had a precarious thing but she dumped him.

Steel yourself, people. That thing you didn’t want to happen? Well, consider yourself warned.

A reporter interviews Richard at C&F about a new sexual harassment case they’ve taken, and he repeats his earlier opinion that sexual harassment laws are dumb, adding that potential jurors should rule for his client. Nelle interrupts to remind him that he can’t have any kind of contact with the jury, but he points out that there’s a lot of money at stake, so he might as well speak his conscience. Cage tells Nelle it’s time for them to leave for court, and reporters chase him into the elevator, from which Butters is emerging with flowers.

In Ally’s office, she and Billy are getting ready to head out, since they have a different client waiting at court. Butters enters and says he’s stretching Valentine’s for a second day, at which point the Dancing Baby runs in dressed like Cupid and whimsy-shoots Ally. Billy calls the whole scene “precious” and leaves the office. Butters asks about Ally’s case, and she makes a quick comment about it before calling the flowers gorgeous. “I could really get used to this,” she tells him, and he asks “why don’t you then?” They kiss, and Billy looks on with an expression that I first assumed was just impatience. Continue reading “S2E14: Nooooooooo It Burns”

S2E13: Featuring Precocious 90s Child Star

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Quick, before you read: what’s the over/under on this being the Dancing Baby grown up?

Either there’s just no previouslies this week, or the showrunners realized this season is so repetitive that we don’t need them. So onwards and upwards, to VONDA singing “The Rainbow Connection”. I love that song, so I’m on board, but my mellow is harshed by seeing Ally walking with Butters at the hospital, floating above the ground like before. She tells him she thought about becoming a doctor, but she doesn’t like death, blood, or scrubs. I mean, you don’t really like any of the stuff for the job you do have, either. Ling walks in and Ally falls from the heavens so she can introduce her to Butters. Ling whimsically morphs into a Predator before leaving, bumping into a wheelchair and chiding the crippled person. Butters heads off to the room of a bald Haley Joel Osment, and Ally follows him in. HJO sees Ally bathed in white light, and tells Butters he’s seeing an angel. Butters introduces her to the kid, Eric, and Ally lets him know that she’s not otherworldly, but “sometimes I’m sweet”. He takes her hand and asks her if it’s time to go.

(Side note of interest to Hamilton fans: when I was confirming that our guest star can see dead people, I caught Renee Elise Goldberry’s name in the cast list, as she was one of VONDA’s regular Ikettes. You’ve come a long way, my friend.) Continue reading “S2E13: Featuring Precocious 90s Child Star”

S2E12: Love is Cray

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Sexay!

Previously: Butters came back, Cage and Nelle’s nonsense continued, Richard and Ling had a complicated thing, Ally liked her lips

VONDA sings over some establishing shots of Boston, then we see Ally and Butters walking down the street. He says he didn’t date anyone in Chicago and asks if Ally did, but she says she can’t remember. They arrive at her place, and she says she’d invite him in but he’d probably sing a duet with Renee. They stare dreamily at each other and their tongues get whimsically long. Ally tells him to call her.

Apparently at some point Portia and Lucy made the opening credits! If I can’t get one without the other, I guess I’ll keep them both. Post-credits, Ally fills Renee in on her date with Butters, and is whimsically floating because he’s cool with taking things slow. She floats all the way in to work, where Richard calls her and Billy into the conference room for a new client. Ling approaches, crashing Ally back to earth. Billy tells Ally that Ling is suing the environment…

And we cut to the conference room, where Georgia asks Nelle how that’s possible. Nelle says that activists have argued that trees have rights, so if the tree can sue you, why not vice versa? Georgia asks why they have to be the lawyers to do this, and Nelle makes a joke about distracting her so she can go after Billy. Richard announces the new client (and we hear nothing more about the tree suit, so I guess that was supposed to be a funny one-off?): a woman named Kimberly Goodman is in a dispute with her husband, who wants to annul their marriage due to his mental incompetence. See, he’s a sex addict, and was thinking with his other head when they got married. Georgia thinks Richard is making this up, but he goes ahead and declares himself first chair, roping Ally in to help. Continue reading “S2E12: Love is Cray”