S2E6: FOX Turned into a Hardcore Sex Channel So Gradually, I Didn’t Even Notice

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Okay gang, we got the new script, and the frog is front and center again this week.

No previouslies, as we dive right into Cage telling a woman they can’t win her case. Ally agrees, assuring her that “making love is wonderful” (*shudder*), but apparently this client is a nun so that’s a no-go. She’s suing the church because she was fired after breaking this vow of celibacy. Cage tells her the case would be a total “Hail Mary”, and at least has the decency to excuse his terrible pun. Ally and Cage rehash a bit in the Unisex, where she rants that they seem to be a magnet for strange cases about sex. What did I say about pointing out your weaknesses without changing them, show? During Ally’s tirade, Cage has left but Nelle has entered, and makes fun of her coworker’s flailing. I don’t care, Nelle is sane and adorable. Ally says she’s late for court and literally skips out.

Renee and Ally are doing a walk and talk outside the courthouse, when a man calls Renee’s name. She seems stunned to see this guy, Matt, who she introduces to Ally as an old friend. Matt’s at court for a copyright issue at his company and heads off. When Ally requests details, Renee reveals that Matt is “her Billy”, and Ally asks why she’s never heard of him before. “I don’t do that,” says Renee. Damn, for a best friend she’s ice cold. Continue reading “S2E6: FOX Turned into a Hardcore Sex Channel So Gradually, I Didn’t Even Notice”

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S2E5: Ritterless

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Guys, did we want to up the CGI budget for the realistic frog this ep? …guys?

Previously: Cage fell down the stairs in front of Nelle, Ally and George flirted, Stefan the frog was a thing (told you), George was dating Elaine and had a wiggle walk, Ally roundhoused a child lawyer, Ally liked George… what even is going to happen in this episode?!

The first thing that happens is that on her walk to work, Ally comes across a woman sitting on the curb, crying. She asks if the woman is okay, earning a rude “what does it look like?” type answer. Ally is rude back (apparently you shouldn’t cry in public if you don’t want to be comforted), and the woman informs her that she was just diagnosed with “acute courtesy disorder”, which makes her rude. When she calls Ally a bitch for good measure, Ally stalks off, but the crying woman (we’ll discover her name is Hannah, and I’m just going to start that here so I’m not typing “Acute Coutesy Disorder Woman” every five words) follows her and chucks her purse at our protagonist. Ally is pissed now, and roundhouse kicks Hannah into a magazine rack. At this point a cop intervenes, and takes us into the credits. Continue reading “S2E5: Ritterless”

Season 1 Rundown

Zeke: Hey Katie. You ready for this nonsense?

Katie: Absolutely.

Zeke: So Ally McBeal Season 1. That was certainly….something.

Katie: How did it compare to your expectations (if any)?

Zeke: Good question. I don’t think I had very many clear expectations, to be honest. I knew about VONDA and the Uncanny Baby, but not much else. So I guess I sort of thought that it would resemble other legal dramas that I’ve seen, by which I basically mean a few odd episodes of The Good Wife.

Katie: Oh, wow. No, this is in a whole different arena.

Continue reading “Season 1 Rundown”

Sex is Bad, mmkay?

(Lead Counsel: Katie)

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Ally and Cage are in the Unisex, where he’s teaching her his self-confidence techniques so that they’re ready to defend Renee in court. They run into Georgia on their way out, and she drops a pregnancy test. (Z: Subtle!) Ally looks freaked out.

Post-credits, Renee meets up with Ally and Cage in Ally’s office, and doesn’t seem happy with their strategies to defend her. Apparently she’s facing possible jail time if she gets convicted, so the stakes are high. Ally slips out to ask Elaine (not a typo) about how Georgia’s pregnancy test went. Georgia approaches, much less irritated than I would be, and tells them she hasn’t taken it yet. (Z: But first, Elaine says “Ally wants me in the loop to snoop the scoop.”) Continue reading “Sex is Bad, mmkay?”

*Head Explodes*

(Lead Counsel: Katie)

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Before we start, here are some pertinent facts:

  • I am 28 years old
  • I am a couple of glasses of wine into the evening
  • I read this episode description before watching

Watch your back, McBeal.

At Cage & Fish, Elaine is ushering everyone into Ally’s office. Ally arrives and looks suspicious. Rightly so, as when she enters her office everyone yells “surprise!” It’s (Z: two days before) her birthday! But Ally is a pill and tries to shut it down. A hot police officer (Z: One might even describe him as a…Hot Cop) ducks in and tells Ally he has a summons for her, at which point Elaine turns on some Tom Jones music. It’s a… workplace… birthday… stripper? This isn’t a damn bachelorette party, guys.

Credits! They changed the clips for this so that other cast members actually get face time. Good choice, show.

Post-credits, Ally whines to Renee that 28 is two years away from 30, and she used to think that people over 30 should “die already”. I take a big drag of wine. (Z: You take a drag of wine? I’m 30!) While Ally is being stupid and pathetic, Renee gets a phone call. Turns out she’s being assigned as the prosecutor in Ally’s upcoming case. Continue reading “*Head Explodes*”

S1E17: Everyone Knows it’s Butters (who’s being sued for malpractice)

(Lead Counsel: Katie)

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We KICK off with Ally, Renee and Georgia in a kickboxing class…haha…*clears throat*. Anyway, Ally struggles to keep up and falls flatter than that joke. Credits! Yep, I guess that’s all we needed to know.

I see the name “Liz Torres” (Z: Who?) in the opening credits and wonder if this will pay off. Ally and Georgia are back at work after class, where Ally snaps at Cage because she’s scared about her upcoming trial, and Renee’s suggestion of kickboxing as stress relief isn’t helping. Cage gives Ally his (smile) utherapist’s card, but she refuses. (Z: It makes perfect sense for a lawyer at a really busy firm to be stressed and overworked, but why now?) Georgia asks Ally why the “Eva Curry depo” (noting the name in case it’s important later) fell to her, and when Ally says she begged off it because of her current case, everyone starts talking over each other. Ally freaks and retreats to her office. (Z: In the form of a whimsy moment where she’s deep underwater and swims away. I did not understand this at all.) Continue reading “S1E17: Everyone Knows it’s Butters (who’s being sued for malpractice)”

S1E9: We’re All Screwed Now

(Lead Counsel: Katie)

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Previously: Hot Mailroom Girl was hot, Elaine was mad and filed a complaint (Z: oh no. Not again).

At the apartment, Ally watches Whatever Happened to Baby Jane until Renee startles her out of her movie trance during a tense scene. When Renee puts down Ally’s choice of movie, Ally gets snotty about The Sound of Music. We find out she has a grudge against the movie’s star actress because in high school she was voted “Most Likely to Become Julie Andrews”, since she’s prudish (Z: to be fair, she did think that 69 was totally gross last episode). This tangents into a discussion about dirty jokes and how if Ally wants more street cred she should tell some. Ally tries to argue she doesn’t know any (come on, everyone does), and cajoles Renee into telling the torso joke (except the show version uses “screwed”, not “fucked”). Ally is disgusted.

Post-credits, Ally has relayed the torso joke to her work chums. Georgia is non-plussed, Billy and Richard are amused. Ally babbles on about how the limbless woman probably couldn’t go to prom or have any happiness, and Georgia DOES think that Ally’s over-empathetic worrying is funny. Hot Mailroom Girl enters with some certified mail for Richard. He’s pleased with how his sexy sexy morning is going until it turns out that the certified mail is a complaint from HMG, because THIS PLOTLINE WILL NOT END (Z: I hope you don’t need me to help recap today, because when this plotline came back, I died. I’m a ghost now). Only this time, she’s suing the women of the firm for being hostile. They discuss whether this is legit– “Same sex harassment, that means gay harassment?” Billy asks. Oh you sweet summer child. Continue reading “S1E9: We’re All Screwed Now”

Intro!

Katie

Every once in awhile, a show comes along with that perfect balance. Entertaining but not that smart, writing checks with a valiant effort that the plotlines just can’t quite cash. Ally McBeal is one such show.

As a fan of romantic comedies and catching up on what I missed in the 90s (having been in elementary school and not quite in the target demographic), this is my second foray into the Ally-verse. Full disclosure: I didn’t quite make it through season five the first go-round. Since then, I’ve acquired a lawyer friend, and in an effort to figure out what David Kelly and the decade of the 1990s were thinking when they put this together, I dragged him into my recapping efforts. I’m here to point out the rom com cliches, and he’s here to see how the legal stuff holds up. We’re both here to see if an unlucky-in-love, independent woman can find true happiness in the cold, rough world.

Zeke

I have no idea what I’m in for. Seriously, none at all. I was alive when this show was on the air, so I know that it exists. I know that my mom played that Vonda Shephard album a whole lot, and I guess there was that terrible CGI dancing baby somehow? Anyway, if you’re reading this and haven’t watched the show before, or if you aren’t as into rom com type things, or if you just like to push your glasses up the bridge of your nose and correct people, I’m here to make sure that your voice gets heard. We are going to get exasperated and confused together, and then maybe see how it works out for these crazy kids and their lawyering.